If you’ve taken a flight on any U.S. airline, you’ve heard the announcements from the flight attendant. Among them is the one about how if the cabin pressure drops, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and you should secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. This is not advice intended to make us heedless of dangers to others, or to be selfish, but acknowledges that we must safeguard our own well-being to be able to help others.
This is also true in the practice of law. Lawyers are, at the core, helpers. Regardless of our specific area of practice, lawyers are the ones to whom people turn when they need help. Financial pressures aside, for many lawyers the focus is solely on helping those who need help, and it can be difficult to say no, whether that is turning away a client, or telling a client you cannot help any further. We sometimes talk to lawyers who are burning themselves out because they take cases they shouldn’t—whether it’s because they don’t have the time or the skills to provide the services the prospective client needs.
Lawyer well-being doesn’t just mean the absence of some kind of challenge, whether it is mental or physical health, addiction, or something else. Lawyer well-being means that we are taking care of ourselves and are positioning ourselves to thrive professionally and personally. A lawyer struggling with mental health or substance use disorders, or who is not physically healthy enough to practice, needs to care for themselves before trying to help others. Sure, we are very good at convincing ourselves that something significant happening in our lives does not impact our practice. But the truth is that lawyers are human (pause here for an appropriate “gasp!”) and subject to the same pressures as everyone else.
People under stress do not process information well. We see that in clients who can’t remember what they’ve told us because they were under extraordinary stress due to the problem that brought them to our door. Lawyers are subject to that same dynamic. If we are ill, if we are not well, we cannot process information as well, we are prone to making mistakes, and we are creating a situation whereby our clients may be harmed.
So, back to the original premise. You need to put on your oxygen mask before helping others. This may mean that you must make hard decisions about what you are able to do—physically, mentally and psychologically—in your life based on the stressors present. Sure, the practice of law is inherently stressful, but we know the impact of stress can be cumulative. We know that lawyers experience vicarious trauma because we take on the trauma of our clients. What doesn’t seem as obvious to lawyers is that our own well-being should be a priority.
What that means may be different for each lawyer. For some, it means healthy eating and regular exercise. For others, it means getting professional help—medical, psychological or something in between. Unfortunately, lawyers seem to put themselves last. It’s time to take inventory and decide what you need to be well.
Lawyers sometimes take on too much—clients and cases, coupled with whatever is going on in their personal lives, and they may be at a breaking point. There are a million good reasons why this happens. It may not be easy to get out of this kind of situation, but it almost always can be done. It may require a new job, court permission to withdraw from cases, enlisting the help of other lawyers within or outside the firm. It may require admitting weakness or that you need help. But none of that is insurmountable.
Remember, you are important. You need to be well to practice at an optimal level. It’s hard to remember sometimes, especially when the needs of others—clients and family—seem overwhelming. But remembering that you are a priority must be a priority when that oxygen mask drops.
