One of the things I have come to appreciate most about practicing law is how generous people can be with something none of us ever seem to have enough of: time.
I have practiced family law my entire career. A couple of years into practice, however, I started thinking about whether I wanted to change the direction of my practice. Family law litigation is rewarding in many ways, but it can also be incredibly demanding. As my career progressed, I found myself thinking more about what kind of practice would be sustainable for me, particularly as I was raising very young children and navigating a season of life that included some additional medical challenges with one of my children.
I became increasingly interested in family law appeals. Family law appeals is a much more niche area of practice than family law litigation. There are fewer attorneys who regularly practice specifically within family law appeals, and I knew that developing that part of my practice would require learning a lot of things I didn’t know yet. I knew to be most effective I would have to turn to experts in and around that field.
Some of the lawyers I turned to were mentors and colleagues within my firm. Others were lawyers outside my firm: people who, in many circumstances, could technically be considered my competitors. But they generously gave me their time anyway, no questions asked.
I called lawyers I didn’t know well with questions about appellate procedure. I asked about strategy, briefing, and the things you only really learn by doing. I had conversations with lawyers who were much more experienced than I was, and they were willing to explain things, share their experiences, and sometimes simply talk through a problem with me. They didn’t have to do that, and perhaps more importantly, they didn’t owe me anything.
The family law appellate community is relatively small. The people who were taking my calls were often practicing in the same niche area I was trying to build. They could have viewed me as competition. Instead, they viewed me as a young lawyer who needed some help. At the time, I knew these colleagues were being generous, but as time has gone on, I have only grown in my appreciation for them.
Because as I’ve gained more experience, other young lawyers have started coming to me with family law appellate questions. Each time, I remember what it felt like to have a question and not know who to ask or who would be willing to talk with me. I remember not wanting to be a bother.
To be clear, I still lean on my colleagues and mentors because there is still a lot to learn. But now, when I can, I try to be that person for another young lawyer looking for guidance. Sometimes I have the answer. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I have ten minutes, and sometimes I have more. But I always try to make the time, because I will never forget those who made the time for me. Given our busy schedules, with work, volunteer organizations, and family, giving your time is a particularly meaningful form of generosity.
Time is different from almost anything else we give. You can’t earn it back. You can’t create more of it. And as lawyers, we are almost universally convinced that we don’t have enough of it. That’s why I notice it so much when someone gives me theirs.
The people who helped me build my practice didn’t do it because they expected something in return. They weren’t investing in me with the expectation that I would eventually repay the favor. They simply helped because they could. And maybe it was because someone did it for them.
We don’t always have a ton of spare time; however, because of the generosity shown to me, I always try to take the call, go to the lunch, and answer the question that I had a few years ago but has become second nature to me now.
My hope is that, years from now, some of those that I am sharing time with now will pass that along to other young lawyers in a similar position.
I am grateful for the people who have generously given me their time throughout my career. They probably don’t realize how much those conversations meant to me. And now that I have a little more experience, I hope I can do the same for someone else.
Give generously with your time when you can. You never know how much those few minutes might mean to someone. And when someone has been generous enough to give you theirs, pay it forward.
