Growing up, I was not a morning person. My family called me “Grumpy Gracie,” which only made me more irritated.
In general, if someone called me a pessimist, I’d correct them and say I was a realist. To be fair, I still think there’s a difference, but my perspective on positivity has changed as I am further along in my legal practice.
I’ve never believed that being positive means pretending everything is perfect. Lawyers, of all people, know that is not reality.
We deal with conflict for a living. We have difficult clients, constant deadlines, frustrating opposing counsel, and days where it feels like we can’t catch a break. And then we go home, and we have piles of laundry, dinner to make, kid chauffeuring, and a house to maintain.
There Is a Time and Place to Vent
There is absolutely a time and place to vent. Some of my best conversations with friends and colleagues have started with, “You’re not going to believe what happened today.”
But over the years, in law school, practice, and involvement with AYLA, I’ve noticed something:
No one wants to spend all of their time around the person who only has negative things to say.
Every meeting is a complaint. Every new idea won’t work. Every event wasn’t good enough. Every change is a problem.
Eventually, it doesn’t just affect that person’s outlook, it affects everyone else’s.
The energy in the room changes. People become less excited to volunteer, less willing to share ideas, and less likely to come back.
The opposite is true, too.
The People Who Make the Room Lighter
Some people walk into a room and make it lighter.
They encourage others, and they celebrate wins, even small ones. When something isn’t working, they look for solutions instead of simply pointing out problems.
They aren’t fake or blindly optimistic; they just choose to contribute more than they criticize.
Those are the people others naturally want to work with and be around.
Why It Matters in Volunteer Organizations
I’ve found this to be especially true in volunteer organizations.
None of us have to be there. We could be meeting our work deadlines or spending our precious spare time with our family and kids. But we choose to give our time because we care about our profession and our community.
The atmosphere we create matters.
If people leave every meeting feeling energized and valued, they’re much more likely to stay involved. If they leave feeling discouraged by negativity, they’ll find somewhere else to spend their time.
Realism and Positivity Can Coexist
I’m still probably more “realist” than optimist. My family might even argue that “Grumpy Gracie” makes an occasional appearance before coffee.
But I’ve learned that realism and positivity aren’t opposites.
You can acknowledge challenges while still being encouraging. You can disagree without being overtly negative and defeatist. You can identify problems while also helping solve them.
And sometimes, the most valuable thing you bring to your firm, your colleagues, or the bar isn’t a great legal argument.
It’s simply being the person everyone is happy to see walk into the room.
